


flowers bloom in spring

by zoldnoveny



Category: Naruto
Genre: Dating, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Gay Male Character, Getting Together, Kinda, M/M, Past Character Death, Trans Male Character, its neji ):
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 10:34:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18602767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoldnoveny/pseuds/zoldnoveny
Summary: “Sai, do you like him?” Sakura butted in, and with the way Naruto nodded along, Sai assumed that was what he was mulling over asking.Sai furrowed his brow, “Yes, I like him. He’s very nice--”“That’s not what she means,” Naruto waved his hand around, “Y’know… like, like. Like--” At this point, he began to make kissy noises./Sai and Lee get together.





	flowers bloom in spring

**Author's Note:**

> so this has been sitting in my drafts for two years, and i finally decided to polish it off and post it! thanks in advance for reading and i hope you enjoy :-)

Sai found Rock Lee both unusual and enticing. Sai did not consider this unusualness a flaw - in fact, he thought Lee was very nice. His eccentricities and enthusiasm could be annoying at times, but he was genuine and loyal, and Sai had learned to value those things deeply. Lee’s drive to serve his village and its people, his desire to become better not only for himself but others, his undying motivation… Sai found it all inspiring, and he one day wished to be as driven as he was.  
  


Being on a sealing team with Lee during the war gave Sai another friend he never expected to have. After becoming close with Sakura and Naruto, Sai believed he had reached capacity. In ROOT, any relationships were discouraged, so having not only one but two friends seemed like more than enough. But the war brought Sai closer to a lot of people, and he was glad Lee was one of them - being paired with him to do his sealing jutsu was the best possible outcome. Lee’s protection was vital to his success, especially considering the required emotional effort, something that Sai struggled with greatly. Lee’s support was the reason he was able to complete his task, and he would never forget that.

 

So, when Sai saw Lee around the village after the war, he took to saying hello and chatting with him briefly. He felt as if he had formed a meaningful bond with Lee, one that deserved to be remembered and nurtured. Lee had changed since the war; he was majorly the same but with new subtle differences; he was still happy and bright but carried himself unfamiliarly, and sometimes Sai could see something empty reflected in his eyes that he often saw when looking in the mirror.   
  
Sai knew just what loss could do to a person, and was sad to see that within Lee. Lee had lost his teammate and changed because of it, but Sai knew he would be alright. Regardless, he still felt a desire deep within himself to be there for him - to help him through his difficulties and offer himself as a true friend, one that could understand and support him completely. That was what Lee had done for him during the war, and Sai would then do the same. 

 

* * *

 

Lee ducked in and out of the village regularly, often dispatched on missions. When they spoke, Lee told Sai he enjoyed having missions to complete, to “fuel the youthful fire that eternally burned within his soul.” He did not like to be idle, and took any mission that was offered to him, no matter how small. Therefore, his time within Konoha was brief, and Sai felt any moments spent with him were sort of… a gift.

 

His feelings were very uncertain. Sai was terrible at determining the rhyme or reason behind human emotion, especially his own. He cared deeply for his friends, but catching them around town hardly arose the same reaction in him as seeing Lee did. The warm fondness settling in his chest, the staticky tingle bursting beneath his skin, the fluttery feeling in his stomach. Seeing Lee smile made something curl up into a tight ball in Sai’s stomach, and he desperately wanted to make him do so again. Sai did not feel this way for Sakura and Naruto. Why was Lee different?

 

After consulting his books, Sai found that he had a possible romantic interest in him. This made no sense, seeing as romantic feelings developed only after one knew another well and for a long time. It was true that Lee was a very friendly acquaintance and one whom Sai shared a bond with, but it wasn’t like they were especially familiar with each other. Also, any book addressing a man used feminine language when referring to the object of amorous affections.

 

It was all rather confusing. Growing up, he was never taught about relationships, platonic or romantic. He was a tool, a weapon, existing only to defend and protect Konoha, not to harbor emotions. He did not think he would ever… like someone. It seemed impossible. And Lee - why not Sakura or Naruto, who he was so much closer with? In fact, he had even shared a few intimate moments with Naruto. But, that was just for fun - at least, Naruto told him this - it wasn’t real, they were just two guys having a good time with each other; girls were too caught up in details to do the same, so it was easier shared between male friends.

 

But Naruto did not make him feel quite like this. Not like Lee and his smiles - Sai honestly found it stupid and nonsensical. Why should one person in particular make him feel so different?

 

* * *

 

Between lapses in missions, Sai would most often find Lee at the small market where he got groceries, or the weapons shop where he bought his ink and scrolls. Lee would bound up to say hello while Sai dropped whatever items into his basket, and they would converse lightly. Then Lee would smile, and flutter off to complete his shopping.

 

Other times, Sai would find Lee training. Sai did not train nearly as much as him, but sometimes their practices lined up. Sai also enjoyed visiting the same training grounds to draw the scenery, or just be absorbed in the nature.

 

Sai’s favorite occurrence with Lee was one of those moments when he was at the grounds to draw, very early in the morning, just after dawn. He nestled himself against the trunk of a tree, sketchbook balanced over his knees, and washed the paper with light, airy watercolors. Then, uncharacteristically silently, Lee appeared. Sai only noticed him when the sounds of splintering wood and crying out began - Sai lifted his gaze to find Lee repeatedly kicking a worn down stump, his form immaculate, letting out what Sai was sure he’d call a ‘manly yell’ with each strike. Sai carefully added his form into his painted landscape.

 

Afterwords, Lee approached him from the field, wet with sweat, his face flushed and hair plastered to his forehead, chest heaving with each breath.

 

“Sai!” He exclaimed warmly, “It is delightful to see you here. May I ask what you are painting? I noticed you here in the midst of my endurance training. I became quite curious as to what you could be making!”

 

Sai set his paints aside and neatly tucked his brush behind his ear, lifting his sketchbook to turn it around and show Lee. He did not often show others his art willingly, but since this was a depiction of Lee himself, he felt obliged.

 

Lee’s hungry eyes roamed across the page for a long moment. “Wow!” His eyes were wide. “Sai, that is truly incredible! Your talents never fail to amaze me!”

 

On an impulse and nothing more, Sai said, “Keep it.” He never gave his art to other people, no matter who. But once the words left his mouth, Sai knew Lee had to have this. He gently tore the paper from its book.

 

Lee stared down at Sai, looking rather flabbergasted, before jumping into action. He took the painting from Sai and held it gently in both hands, continuing to look at it adoringly. After a while of critical examination, he returned his eyes to Sai’s. “Thank you so, so much for this wonderful gift. I shall cherish it eternally! Your kindness means the world to me!” Then, he gave Sai a thumbs-up and breathtaking grin, and Sai’s heart stopped.

 

Something he had created caused Lee to smile like that. One of his meaningless little creations made Lee so happy, so grateful. Sai suddenly wanted to paint Lee a gallery.

  

* * *

 

Sai was soon dispatched on a mission himself, with Captain Yamato and Sakura. It was rather brief and not very exciting, but he hadn’t been outside of town for a while. It was nice, and he also enjoyed the time with his teammates. Here, he took advantage of Sakura’s superior intellect and asked her about Lee.

 

“Lee?” She quirked a brow and pursed her lips, “Well, he and I are pretty good friends, I’d like to think. He’s a great guy. When we were kids, he had a huge crush on me.”

 

“Oh?” Sai prompted.

 

“Yeah, the first time we met he asked me out and told me he’d protect me with his life. He was pretty adamant, and at the time I thought it was really weird, but now I think it was sweet.” She smiled. “He never gave up on me, either. He kept pursuing me for a long time, no matter how many times or how rudely I turned him down,” Her smile twisted into a small frown, “Until he fell for -- well. I guess that’s not for me to say.”

 

“He had feelings for someone other than you?” Sai asked, suddenly intrigued. He had known of Lee’s puppy-crush on Sakura, but nothing else with another person.

 

Sakura heaved a sigh, and brushed back jagged bangs from her forehead. Orange light flicked across her face from the nearby fire Yamato-taichou had started. “Well, yes. I suppose it doesn’t hurt for you to know. Lee was in a relationship with someone.”

 

“Really? A relationship?” Sai considered for a moment, thinking of all the people Lee could potentially be involved with. “With Tenten?”

 

“No.” Sakura tightened her lips, eyes falling to the ground before her feet as she poked a stick into the dirt. “Not Tenten, with Neji.”

 

Before responding, Sai let that information soak into his mind. Neji, who Sai had thought of as nothing but Lee’s teammate. Neji, a boy. Neji, dead. “I see.” Sai returned.

 

Sakura looked rather upset all of a sudden. Before, perhaps Sai would have been confused at her unexpected emotionalness, but now he understood. She was sad for Lee’s sake - maybe Sai was too. He could feel something empty fill  his stomach after hearing those words.

 

“That’s a shame.” He said.

  

* * *

 

When returning to the village, Sai’s life resumed in its normality. He worked primarily for the Hokage, doing tedious tasks while waiting for more assignments, or completing small ones within the village.

 

Sai liked his life. Before he left ROOT, he didn’t know he could like his life. He knew he could live it successfully, do as he was told and not get punished - but life was never something to be enjoyed. It was something to force himself through, one mundanity after another. Now, contrastingly, Sai looked forward to things. Achieving small goals he set out for himself, painting and drawing, reading, spending time with himself in his own apartment, spending time with his friends elsewhere. Each day had potential to be different, and he looked forward to the mystery. Sai was happy.

 

He saw Lee again this time at the weapons shop. After his mission with Sakura and Yamato-taichou, he had run out of ink. He ducked into the shop in the evening, just as the sun was sinking into the horizon, sky painted in oranges, reds, pinks, and yellows, casting the village in a glow of warm light. This was perhaps Sai’s favorite time of day, along with sunrise. He loved when the world looked like artwork, it filled him with inspiration and drive to create, just for himself and outside the necessity of his jutsu.

 

Lee was with his teammate Tenten, both of them perusing through a collection of shuriken, Lee with a couple of rolls of bandages in his basket. Tenten stood closely at his side with her arm pressed to his, looking over his shoulder… Sai was almost impressed by how familiar the two were. Of course, he had learned that such familiarity was commonplace between friends, and had even experienced the same thing with Sakura and Naruto.

 

Sai went to fetch his ink, but did not slip by unnoticed.

 

“Sai!” Lee called out for him.

 

Sai turned to look at him.

 

“Hello, Sai,” Lee smiled, tamer than his usual one, close lipped and soft, “How are you?”

 

“I’m well, thank you.” Sai responded.

 

“Tenten and I were planning on going out for a nutritious and filling meal of curry after this outing, would you perhaps like to join us?”

 

Tenten was then sifting through a display of nunchaku besides the shuriken, raising no protests at the invitation. In fact, she didn’t even seem to have noticed, so absorbed in the task at hand.

 

“I…” Sai initially went to decline, feeling like going along with the two friends would be an intrusion, before decided against it. Why wouldn’t he go? Lee was inviting him and he liked Lee (even if he wasn’t sure exactly in what way, and was very confused by it.) “Okay.”

 

Lee beamed before telling Sai to go and complete his shopping excursion before meeting he and Tenten outside so they could walk to the curry shop together.

 

* * *

 

Dinner with Lee and Tenten was pleasant, and Sai enjoyed himself a lot. The shop Lee liked was a rather small one on the outskirts of town, run by a kind family that knew Lee and Tenten well. In fact, their orders were prepared for them without either having to order. Lee suggested Sai order the same dish as him, which Tenten adamantly disagreed with. He instead went with her suggestion, because he did not particularly care for spicy things the way Lee did. It was very good, and Sai left the shop feeling full and happy.

 

Tenten lived only a few minutes from the shop, and so after she made her way home, Lee and Sai had the walk back to town to themselves. Lee was gentlemanly enough to go as far as walk Sai back to his apartment. Sai found this nice of him, but was not surprised at his offering. Lee would do this for anyone.

 

During the walk, Lee filled any silence with rambling chatter - talking about missions, training, his friends, his sensei, things he had done that day that Sai found too boring to have brought up on his own, but sounded riveting in Lee’s words. Sai mostly gave quick responses, but Lee did not seem offended at all. He didn’t even really stop for breath.

 

At Sai’s apartment building, Lee landed a hearty slap on Sai’s back, sending him stumbling forward a step, before grasping his shoulder to steady him.

 

“Thank you for joining Tenten and I for the lovely meal. Your company was virtuous and exemplary; I am sure not only myself but she found your joining us incredibly enjoyable!”

 

Sai smiled, “Thank you for inviting me.”

 

Lee returned with a grin of his own, as well as a classic thumbs-up. “I will see you later, I hope, my friend!”

 

Lee left Sai standing at the doorstep with his chest glowing from the inside out.

  

* * *

 

Since then, spending time with Lee became a regular occurance. Sai saw him in the same places as before, but now whenever they met, Lee invited Sai to join him in whatever he was setting out to do next. This included a lot of eating, training, wandering around town, running errands for his sensei and the Hokage, or just spending time mindlessly.

 

Sai very much enjoyed this time with Lee between missions. He was unendingly kind and generous, his presence both comforting and exciting. Lee told stories and made jokes, engaged Sai in small talk and meaningful conversation, but was also content sitting in comfortable silence when needed.

 

Sometimes Tenten would join them like she did the first time, other times Sai’s own friends, Naruto or Sakura would, or even people that Sai was mostly unfamiliar with that Lee knew from his childhood.

 

This budding friendship brought Sai a lot of happiness he had not been expecting. Just spending time with another person made him feel so differently - and no one mixed up his emotions more than Lee did. Sai was not entirely sure how he was supposed to act with him, other than the way he acted with those people he was already close with. He knew that his social aptitude was inferior to Lee’s, but Lee didn’t seem to mind at all. In fact, Sai wasn’t even sure if Lee noticed at all.

 

It took longer than Sai had expected for Lee to ask to spar. Sai was quite familiar with Lee’s drive to fight anyone who’s strengths he believed paralleled his own. He assumed Lee would suggest the two of them to engage in a ‘hot-blooded battle of manly fists’ far sooner than he did.

 

Sai had taken to joining Lee in his morning training about a week prior, sometimes to draw or paint and other times to train alongside him. One of these mornings, just as Sai was stretching an arm across his chest, Lee unraveling a layer of bandages over his wrists at his side, he proposed a match of friendly taijutsu.

 

They spent the morning fighting, Lee keeping Sai on the tips of his toes. While Sai had his own unique strengths that few could beat, Lee was clearly better off than him in strict taijutsu. His fighting was like second nature to him, like he didn’t even think before each strike, dodge, kick, leap, punch. It was an extension of his being, something ingrained so deeply within him he wouldn’t be himself without it. Sai knew Lee was going to defeat him, but fought back nonetheless. Even if Lee was better than him, Sai was no quitter, and it wasn’t as if he were unskilled. He could give Lee a run for his money - if he kept Sai on his toes, Sai would do the same.

 

They exchanged blows well into the morning, far past dawn when they had begun. Sai had barely felt the time elapse, being far too absorbed in the fight and Lee to have noticed.

 

It ended when Lee was finally able to trip Sai up enough to pin him to the ground, flat on his back in the dew studded grass with Lee sitting astride him over his hip, one hand pushing Sai’s wrists above his head, the other holding an imaginary kunai at his throat. Sai swallowed down what felt like an intrusion in his throat and stared up at Lee, unblinking. Lee met his gaze for a few moments, before redness began to swell atop his cheeks, the bridge of his nose, and tips of his ears. He swiftly climbed off Sai and helped haul him up, congratulating him on a job well done and slapping him on the back. The rosiness still hadn’t left his face, and Sai felt it almost made him look alluring, despite how sweaty and gringy he was after fighting for so long. His hair was a mess, no longer combed into glossy neatness as it was usually - Sai had an unexplainable urge to run his fingers through it. These were not normal feelings to have after a spar, he knew, but they would not leave.

 

Lee took Sai back to his apartment so he could prepare food for him. In usual Lee fashion, he didn’t even offer it as a question, but instead demanded that Sai come along with him, after being kind enough to ‘offer himself as such a worthy and proficient opponent.’ Sai would not have declined were he had been asked, but was just as glad to go along with what Lee had told him.

 

Lee’s apartment was far more homey than his own. Sai’s was rather plain, with nothing inside but necessary furniture and some of his favored artwork plastered up on the walls. Lee’s, opposingly, was filled to the brim with things. His furniture was well loved and personal, floors decorated with mats and rugs, walls decorated with framed photos and tapestries and - oh, Sai’s watercolor. There were shelves of books and scrolls and weapons, little tables scattered with various items. It was immaculate, colorful, crowded, and very Lee.

 

Lee gave Sai first shower, and told him he’d lend him some clothes to wear afterwards, since Sai’s own had gotten dirty and sweaty. Lee assured him he had casual outfits that weren’t spandex - although he encouraged Sai to try a suit out.

 

Sai bathed himself quickly and efficiently, washing away the grime from his skin; the green stains from his back where he had been pushed into the grass. Once finished, he stepped out to find a set of clothes folded on the counter for him. A pair of light cargo shorts and a soft blue t-shirt with the Konoha emblem stitched into the breast pocket with white thread. Both were a tad too big, but comfortable.

 

After Lee had finished his own shower, he began to prepare something to eat. Sai sat a chair in the kitchen, watching him bustle around at the stove, listening to him chatter on about what he had done on his most recent mission. Sai listened quietly, adding in his opinion in the lapses of silence.

 

Lee made them both omurice, with fluffy yellow egg and chewy rice, as well as something goopy and green to drink. Sai took a sip, found it quite vile, and offered his to Lee - which he was delighted to drink himself. The omurice was delicious, though, and Sai was quite impressed by Lee’s cooking skill. Sai cooked for himself quite often, but his food was never this tasty. Mostly, he viewed eating as nothing but a necessity, not something to be enjoyed. Lee seemed to feel differently, Sai noticed, as he tore into the omurice and and shoveled it into his mouth eagerly, taking gulps of his protein shakes between bites.

 

* * *

 

They finished eating and Sai washed off their dishes while Lee dried them. Then Lee informed Sai that he was going into town to run some errands for Gai-sensei - would Sai like to tag along?

 

Sai did tag along - and after they finished, Lee was going to drop by the Hokage’s office to give a mission report; Sai was welcome to come. Then Lee was going to go into town for a bit - everything Lee did for the rest of the day, Sai was invited to join him in. And he did.

 

He went home that evening after Lee had walked him to his apartment, just like always. Before Sai could go inside, Lee pulled him into a quick and bone crushing hug, wrapping him up in his arms and squeezing him to his chest, forcing his face into the curve of his neck. He was warm and solid, Sai could feel each breath expanding in his chest, could feel the stretch of muscle in his torso, could feel the jut of his chin pressed up against his forehead. He smelled like curry and grass and something a little musky yet pleasant.

 

Sai stood there cluelessly for a second, before resting his hands on Lee’s shoulderblades. Lee pulled back with a brilliant smile, and bounded off.

 

Sai very much enjoyed that day.

  

* * *

 

Naruto took Sai and Sakura out for ramen every once and awhile. More accurately, Sai and Sakura took Naruto, because they always seemed to be stuck with the bill. Sai didn’t mind, because he like the time spent with his teammates outside of missions. It was pleasant to just be friends and not comrades in arms.

 

“So, you’re hangin’ out lot of time with bushy-brows lately.” Naruto pointed out, obnoxiously slurping at his noodles.

 

“Am I?” Sai poked at his own bowl with his chopsticks.

 

With a full mouth, Naruto continued to speak, “Yeah, you’re with him, like, all the time. What’s that about?”  
  


“I suppose I just enjoy his company.” Sai answered tentatively, “Don’t you? You’re very close friends.”

 

“Well, yeah, of course.” Naruto pouted a bit, his eyes squinting shut. He chewed for a moment, like he was considering what to say next. He said nothing.

 

“Sai, do you like him?” Sakura butted in, and with the way Naruto nodded along, Sai assumed that was what he was mulling over asking.

 

Sai furrowed his brow, “Yes, I like him. He’s very nice--”

 

“That’s not what she means,” Naruto waved his hand around, “Y’know… like, like. Like--” At this point, he began to make kissy noises.

 

Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose, but Sai could see her smiling secretly beneath her palm.

 

“Ah. That sort of like.”

 

“We won’t judge, you know.” Sakura said softly, “You can tell us.”

 

“In all honesty, I can’t say I understand what I’m feeling.” Sai confessed, arching his brows and tilting his head to the side, “Perhaps I do like him in that way. I’ve never felt this way about someone else before.”

 

“Are you gay?” Asked Naruto.

 

“Are you?”

 

“That’s really great, Sai.” Sakura said, cutting off the impending banter. “Liking people is - it should be a good thing. It’s exciting!”

 

Naruto snickered, “Says you, Sakura-chan--”

 

Sakura cleared her throat and crossed her arms over her chest, and suddenly there was a thump of a foot hitting the floor and Naruto whimpering. “Lee is great, I hope it works out between you two.”

 

To answer Naruto’s question - Sai didn’t know if he was gay or not. Any sort of self exploration was heavily discouraged in ROOT, so while others were figuring themselves out in their childhoods and adolescence, Sai was forbidden from doing so. It wasn’t as if he desired any contemplation on the subject, anyways, Sai had felt that there was no need to know these sorts of things about himself. His purpose had been to serve his village; having romantic or sexual feelings would just… never happen to him. He had thought.

 

The only person he’d ever been with was another boy. And, even if he didn’t feel as intensely for Naruto as he did now for Lee, he wouldn’t say he wasn’t attracted to him. In fact, when everything with Naruto initially happened, Sai found him incredibly enticing. Often times, it became almost impossible for Sai to tear his eyes from him - the broadness of his shoulders, the strength of his arms, the sunkissed shade of his skin, the clarity of his blue eyes, the dimples that sunk into his cheeks whenever he smiled - Naruto was very handsome, and Sai had never wanted to stare at a girl the way he stared at him. And the way he now wanted to stare at Lee.

 

Was he gay? Likely. Girls did not appeal to him in the ways that boys seemed to. But Sai could never be sure, maybe one day he would find a girl that he felt something for. Many things he had not been planning on happening to him had, and therefore he had learned to expect the unexpected. So maybe he would like girls. Maybe not.

 

Sai felt no remorse at his possible homosexuality. While he had never learned to explore his sexuality in his youth, he had simultaneously never learned the shame that came along with it. He didn’t even realize homophobia existed until he was with Naruto - and discovered Naruto’s own disappointment with himself for liking men.

 

If Lee - well, not if, he was with Neji… Sai did not see Lee liking men being something Lee would be ashamed of. Lee did not seem to be ashamed of anything; he was proud and found no embarrassment in aspects of himself others would. Sai respected that a great deal.

  

* * *

 

Sai decided to do something about the whole situation about a week later. He first considered asking Sakura what he should do, since she seemed the most logical of his friends, but then decided against it. While Sakura was indeed very intelligent, she was not always the most introspective in the category of romance. After obsessing over Sasuke for so long and then untruthfully confessing her ‘love’ to Naruto… Sai was not sure he wanted her advice.

 

He came to the conclusion that he would consult Kakashi. Sai had observed that he and Kakashi had many similarities when it came to emotions and relationships, despite Sai’s social ignorance being a bit more obtuse. Kakashi had been in the same position as him years ago, forbidden from stepping past the bounds of ANBU to be his own person, like Sai in ROOT, and had a had a very familiar trouble with expressing himself.

 

Yet, he must have known something of romance with the way he so often delved into Jiraiya’s writing - which Sai had learned from Naruto was incredibly amorous.

 

“You wanna borrow Icha Icha?” Kakashi cocked one skeptical brow, his arms crossed over his chest.

 

“If you don’t mind,” Sai said, “I think reading is the best way for me to learn of these things. It has been how I’ve done so in the past--”

 

Kakashi waved his hand, cutting Sai off, “What things are you trying to learn?”

 

Sai’s brow creased minutely. “Well, relationships. And sex.”

 

Kakashi’s lips curled upward beneath his mask as he scratched at the top of his head, “Really? You, Sai? Are you pursuing someone?”

 

“Perhaps.”

 

Kakashi made an amused noise at the back of his throat. “Well, then sure. Why not? My most prized readings for a prized comrade.”

 

Sai had the feeling that Kakashi may have been teasing him, but said nothing.

 

Kakashi was suddenly pressing a stack of books to Sai’s chest, “Don’t get anything on the pages, please.”

 

Sai nodded, thanked him, and went to leave. He had his hand on the doorknob before Kakashi called his name again, stopping him. Sai turned with his head over his shoulder, regarding him with neutral curiosity.

 

“Just - good for you, for going for it. It’s more than I would've done when I was your age.”

 

Sai appreciated the sentiment and genuineness. The words felt true, unlike most compliments he had come across, which were awkward and forced. Kakashi wasn’t one to dish out such praise very often, so Sai felt almost a little special at receiving some himself.

 

He gave him another small nod, and stepped outside.

  

* * *

 

The next time he and Lee met was during Lee’s afternoon training. Most often Sai came across him during the morning, so seeing him later on was a bit of a surprise. Sai was returning home from a small job he had performed in town when he saw Lee walking through the streets on his hands.

 

Sai stopped before him to say hello, expecting him to drop to his feet and greet him face-to-face. Instead, Lee stayed on his palms, repeatedly shifting his weight from side to side to keep from toppling over.

 

“I am in the midst of my daily endurance training! I am refining my ability to withstand difficult situations by walking three hundred laps around the village on my hands!”

 

“I see,” Sai dropped his eyes down to Lee’s shiny black head, unable to meet his eyes completely at the strange angle. “What lap are you on?”

 

“Two hundred ninety four!” Lee exclaimed, “Would you like to join for the remaining six?”

 

“No, thank you.” Sai replied easily. He struggled to find the point in doing such a thing, even if Lee insisted it was greatly beneficial.

 

“Ah,” Lee shifted his balance once more, “Later, then? Let us enjoy a delectable and refreshing meal of Tempura, perhaps?”

 

Sai smiled to himself, which was strange because Lee could not even see him and usually his smiles were nothing but preformative. “Sure, that sounds nice.”

 

“Wonderful!” Lee took a sturdy step (was it a step if he was on his hands?) forward. “I will pick you up at your residence around 18 o’clock, and we can enjoy the evening together.”

 

Sai and Lee said their goodbyes and Lee ambled off, his legs bobbing as he disappeared into the distance. Sai watched him for a moment longer than necessary, before continuing on his own way.

  

* * *

 

Sai spent the afternoon delving into Kakashi’s books. He began first with Icha Icha: Makeout Paradise, because judging by the battered spine, dog-eared pages, and taped up cover, it was the most well loved. If this was Kakashi’s favorite, he would start there.

 

He found it quite… odd. The plot was not very captivating, and based on the previous novels Sai had read, quite trite. None of the characters really appealed to his pathos, and all seemed a little too unifaceted to be intriguing. Regardless, he continued to leaf through and read, letting his desire for knowledge drive him.

 

Then, he stumbled on the first scene. The hero with his heroine, bent over a table. Sai felt his interest pique at the sudden change in mood, from something light and meaningless to heavy and heated. The diction became more precise and syntax straighter to the point, dialogue less trivial rambling and more nonsensical pleading.

 

Now, this was entertaining. Besides what Naruto had taught him, Sai had little knowledge of what exactly sex entailed. This was definitely different from what they had done - it seemed a lot smoother and easier, with more noises and less discussion. They both just knew exactly where to go and what to do without deciding beforehand somehow, and she especially seemed to be greatly pleasured even when not much was happening to her. However, the descriptions of each act were well articulated, and Sai was intrigued. He wondered, how would this translate to him and Lee, were they to do such a thing? Obviously, neither of them were female, so who would take that role? And how?

 

Perhaps Sai would ask Kakashi when he returned his books to him.

 

* * *

 

Lee was very punctual, Sai noticed, when his clock turned from 17:59 to 18:00 and there was a polite knock at his door. Right on time, down to the second. After setting aside his book and slipping into his jacket and shoes, he greeted Lee at his doorway with a smile.

 

“Hello,”

 

“Good evening, Sai!” Lee stood with his hands confidently poised on his hips. Tonight he was wearing a knitted yellow sweater and pale blue pants, quite different from his normal attire. He looked very handsome, Sai discovered, while tracing his eyes up  and down his figure discreetly. He wondered, why would Lee go as far as to dressing up just to get dinner together?

 

“Are you ready to go?” Sai asked, stepping forward and quietly shutting his door behind him.

 

* * *

 

Lee lead him to town and to the Tempura shop of his choice. The walk was rather nice, air brisk and soothing after a day of blazing Konoha summer. With the sun beginning to steadily sink in the sky, the village was bathed in rosy-golden light, Lee’s hair shining gilt, the high points of his face illuminated with orange, gentle features blurred and softened. Sai wanted to draw a portrait of him, right there.

 

The Tempura shop was located in the center of town, rather close to the Hokage’s residence. Sai wondered why he had never noticed it before. Lee told him he considered Tempura to be an indulgence of his - something he did not partake in often. It was battered and fried, unlike the majority of dishes he ate, which were much more healthful. But he thought Sai would enjoy it, and here they were.

 

Sai found that endearing, for Lee to go past his own bounds of normality for him. Sai hypothesized that he did not do so often. Lee was a stickler for routine.

 

Sai ordered a light vegetable tempura, made with sweet potatoes, mushroom, squash and eggplant. Lee got Tempura Udon with shrimp and vegetables, which seemed to be a bit more hearty. When he caught Sai eyeing it, Lee dipped his spoon into the broth to collect some and offer to him. Cupping his hand underneath it to keep anything from hitting the table, he opened his mouth wide in an attempt to get Sai to do the same, and promptly shoved the spoon into Sai’s mouth.

 

“It is delicious, yes?” He prompted, eyes wide. Now, his fingers were lightly cupping Sai’s chin.

 

Sai nodded and swallowed. “Yes, very much so.”

 

“You can have some more, if you so please!” Lee drew back his spoon.

 

“Thank you, but I’m alright.” Sai found himself sort of missing Lee’s touch. “Would you like some of mine?”

 

“No, no. I am growing quite full!” Lee gave a classic big grin, his eyes fluttering closed. Sai observed the artful curl of his eyelashes against his subtly flushed cheeks.

 

“Yes, me too, I think.” Sai set his chopsticks diagonally across his plate.

  

* * *

 

After the two left to return to their respective houses, the sun had set. It was dark save for a few lights and lanterns adorning the streets; quiet save for the sound of bugs chirping and the breeze rustling in the trees. Lee still somehow had things to talk about, and Sai listened to both him and the nature simultaneously and attentively. They walked so close that their arms brushed together, and neither made any moves to change that. Wherever Lee touched him, Sai felt warm. All over, Sai felt warm. He felt happy, like this was the place he was truly meant to be in this moment. It had been… Sai did not know how long it had been since he had felt this way.

 

Lee dropped him off at his apartment, but did not rush off to continue his walk home as he did normally. Instead, he stood very close to Sai at his door for a while, looking down at him sort of expectantly. Was Sai supposed to say something now? Was it his turn to speak after listening to Lee babble on all evening? Or - oh - was this going to be like a moment out of Kakashi’s book?

 

Was this how it was going to happen?

 

Without thinking, Sai felt himself subconsciously tip forward on his toes, just as Lee began to bend down. There was a hand on his cheek, his own poised on Lee’s shoulders. His heart was racing, which was silly because after years of training and conditioning, he was supposed to immune from such reactions--

 

Lee’s lips were warm and a little damp, rough from being chewed at yet supple under Sai’s own. There was a taste of salt there from his dinner. Sai curled his fingers into the collar of Lee’s sweater, dragging him a bit closer, and let Lee gently press close mouthed kisses against his lips. Sai let his mouth open and suddenly, it all became a little slicker and easier to move together. They kissed deeply, sliding together in minute movements, tilting jaws and roaming fingertips. Sai felt rather than heard the low noise Lee made, almost vibrating in his teeth, and gripped his biceps a little tighter.

 

When he pulled back, Lee’s cheeks were tinged a lovely shade of red, his eyes still heavily lidded and expression dazed, struggling to lift his gaze. Sai noted with satisfaction that his lips were a bit swollen and wet. He looked well kissed - Sai very much appreciated being the cause of such a thing.

 

Suddenly, they were kissing once more. Lee’s hand slid into his hair, large palm delicately cradling the back of Sai’s head. This time, the movement of their mouths was much quicker. Was that Lee’s tongue? Sai ran his hands down the length of Lee’s arms, then back up his torso and around his neck, pulling him down closer. Lee stumbled a bit, but was able to catch Sai around his waist before either of them could fall. It felt secure in his grasp.

 

“Sai--” When Lee spoke, his voice was rough. Sai took his lower lip between his teeth and nipped lightly. “Sai, as much as I - as much as this is very, ah, good, we are standing in the middle of your hallway…”

 

Was he embarrassed? How cute. Sai separated himself from Lee’s mouth and withdrew his hands, complying with Lee’s wishes. Now standing independently, Lee scratched at the nape of his neck, blushing furiously. He also seemed to be having trouble making eye contact.

 

“You’re a very good kisser.” Sai told him.

 

Lee blushed some more, and giggled a little. “Thank you. You are too, you know.”

 

Sai offered him a small smile. “I’m glad that you think so.”

 

Lee bit at his lower lip to keep from erupting into a grin - which Sai thought was a shame, because Lee’s grins were enchanting. “I must say, I am incredibly overjoyed with the outcome of this evening. Your companionship has continuously blessed me, and I am so very grateful to be spending this time with you.”

 

“Me as well.” Sai took a small step forward, rested his hands on Lee’s chest once more, and pushed his lips up to his cheek. The skin burned beneath his touch. “Let’s do this again soon, yes?”  
  


Lee gave a rather enthusiastic yes in return.

 

\--

 

Sai’s time with Lee was spent in majorly the same way. They met during training, wandered around the village, got food, ran errands, and just spent time together. But now there was kissing and an influx of Lee’s affections. Sai didn’t mind, and in fact appreciated this new development a great deal. Neither he nor Lee seemed to have any desire to pin a label to this flourishing of their relationship, and were content just being together.

 

Sai found himself spending less and less time at his own apartment and more at Lee’s. His own was perfectly comfortable, but Lee’s was simply more welcoming. Sai liked being there, it made him feel wanted and appreciated, like Lee truly desires to be with him - whatever that meant.

 

The both of them still went on missions, but Lee seemed to be growing more and more content with staying at home. No longer did he seem like he needed to get out all the time, like he needed to always be occupied and busy, like he needed to be distracted. Sai hoped that he had something to do with that, and hoped he could continue to help Lee become even more comfortable with himself in the future.

 

Sai was unsure if they were in a relationship. He figured they were, because he had no reason to think otherwise, nor any knowledge of what a relationship really entailed to base it on. But he knew that he enjoyed being with Lee, and they had fun together. Lee made him smile and laugh, and Sai believed that Lee seemed to fancy him as well.

 

 

* * *

 

Sai completed Kakashi’s readings within a few weeks, and returned them to him. He had learned quite a bit of how to go about flirting, seducing, touching, kissing, and other more intimate acts. At least, he seemed to have. He still didn’t know if majority of his knowledge could be applied to real life, but was willing to try. He wanted Lee to be happy with him.

 

Thankfully, Lee was very easily pleased. He didn’t seem to have any qualms with Sai’s unfamiliarity with romance, and took the time to explain things to Sai that he didn’t understand.

 

Sai dropped by the Hokage’s office to give Kakashi his books back. He was sitting at his desk and rifling through some paperwork, looking as bored as ever with his cheek balanced atop the knuckles of his folded fist. When he saw Sai with an armful of Icha Icha, he leant back in his chair and cocked his eyebrows.

 

“How’d you like it?”

 

“It was bad.” Sai told him. Kakashi’s brow furrowed. “The plot was boring and characters flat. The smut was intriguing, though.”

 

“Intriguing, huh?” Kakashi huffed, shaking his head in what could have been amusement or disappointment - Sai wasn’t sure.

 

“Yes, I think I learned an adequate amount.” Sai politely set the stack of books on the corner of Kakashi’s desk.

 

“Did you now? Well, that’s good at least.” He drummed his pen against his pile of paperwork. “Wouldn’t want you making a fool of yourself, yeah?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“You care if I ask who the lucky lady is? Y’know, to quell my curiosity?” Something about the lilt of his voice suggested that he was teasing, but once more Sai couldn’t be sure. He never knew with Kakashi.

 

“It’s not a woman. It’s Rock Lee.” Sai answered dutifully.

 

Kakashi’s eyes widened by a fraction, before settling into something softer, “Gai’s little imitation act, huh?” he snickered under his breath, “You know, kid, you and I are a lot more similar than I’d thought.”

 

Sai said nothing in return, unsure how to construct a response.

 

“Just, a word of advice: sex with another man is far different than it is with a woman. You ought to pick up something more technical from the library.”

 

Sai thanked Kakashi for the added assistance and went to do as he was advised.

 

* * *

 

Sai soon learned that Kakashi had been correct - sex with a man did seem to be quite different than he expected. While reading Icha Icha, he had been a bit curious about the mechanics of everything, but now he was confident.

 

Still, he wondered, who would do what? When would they do it? All that had happened between them thus far was especially heated bouts of kissing, nothing even remotely beneath the belt. He would not lie and say he wasn’t eager - in fact, he wasn’t even above stealing one of the tricks from Icha Icha to try and move things along.

 

The furthest they got happened about three weeks after their first kiss. It was late in the evening, just past dusk, and the two of them were gathered together at Lee’s apartment. Lee had made dinner himself instead of going out, and while his cooking wasn’t hardly as good as some restaurants, Sai was fond of staying in. Their meal was concluded with Dorayaki, a little too sweet for Sai’s tastes but still good. His tongue still felt think from the sugary bean paste, and his stomach was pleasantly full.

 

Like always, once they finished eating, Sai washed the dishes and Lee dried them. They stood at the sink with their hips touching, and Sai brushed the back of his hand up against Lee’s whenever he handed him a dish.

 

They curled up together on the couch to watch television afterwards. Lee said he preferred movies and TV to novels because he had a hard time focusing and staying still for a long time, and at least with watching something there was visual stimulation and not just text on a page. Sai didn’t watch a lot of TV, and instead mostly read, but was perfectly content to do differently then.

 

However, as more time droned on, he found himself getting bored. The show playing was some Shinobi drama, clearly produced by civilians judging by the inaccuracy and theatricalization of every mishap.

 

Sai decided he might as well utilize this time to test out his new knowledge. Shuffling away from the blanket draped over his shoulders, he swept one leg out and swiftly planted it on the opposite side of Lee’s thighs, sitting himself astride his lap. He rested his hands on his shoulders.

 

“Sai?” Lee blinked up at him with large eyes.

 

“I’m bored,” Sai informed him, looking down the bridge of his nose. Then, he ducked down to push his mouth into Lee’s.

 

Lee’s hands came to rest over Sai’s waist as he tilted his jaw upward, quickly catching on and syncing the movements of his lips along with Sai’s. Sai threaded his fingers into Lee’s hair, thick and glossy, and held it tightly between his palms. Lee’s own hands travelled to his back, pulling him closer until their torsos aligned - Sai could then feel each breath Lee took, could feel the heat of his skin through the fabric of his T-shirt. He shifted and wiggled a little, and one of Lee’s hands ran up the length of his spine to tangle in his hair.

 

Sai gently spread Lee’s lips open with his own, wetting them with the tip of his tongue, before licking inside his mouth for a moment. At this, Lee took a long and deep breath, his chest expanding. Then, he sucked Sai’s lower lip into his mouth like it was candy and Sai shivered all over.

 

Moving his grasp to Lee’s biceps, Sai ground a little more surely in his lap, returning to kissing him with quick-paced vigor. This was soon interrupted, however, when Lee broke away to speak.

 

“Sai,” he began, the wetness of his lips brushing up against Sai’s. Sai ached to connect them once more. Lee swallowed audibly. “I have to… tell you something.”

 

“What is it?” Sai trailed his fingertips over the exposed skin of Lee’s collarbone.

 

“I am…” He cleared his throat. Sai was growing a little impatient. Then, his eyes flicked up from Sai’s mouth to his eyes, “I am transgender.”

 

Sai raised an eyebrow, not understanding, and cocked his head to the side.

 

Lee seemed embarrassed, which was unlike him, “I am a little different from most men, you see. I do not… have a penis.”

 

“Really?” Sai at first thought Lee was making a joke, but then realized he had assumed incorrectly, and corrected himself, “Did something happen? An accident?”

 

Lee laughed. “No. I never had one. I instead have the typical anatomy of our opposite sex.”

 

Sai looked down at him for a few moments, before he settled his hands on the nape of Lee’s neck and responded with, “Okay.”

 

“You still like me?”

 

Sai was puzzled. “Why wouldn’t I? The things I like about you go beyond your genitalia.” He said, “Can we continue kissing? I was enjoying myself.”

 

Lee grinned broadly - obviously Sai’s words meant a lot to him, for whatever reason - and leaned forward to kiss him again. Unlike the previous one, this was quick and chaste, and Sai could feel him smiling against his mouth.

 

As Lee went to pull away, Sai yanked at his hair and leaned back in recapture his lips. Lee made a pleased hum that Sai felt reverberate through his jaw.

 

This new development was interesting. Sai had never heard of this thing - transgender - but it seemed sensical enough. Why couldn’t a boy have a vagina? The only reason bodies were regarded as male or female was human perception - who was to say that was the absolute truth?

 

However, Sai was not as sure how to pleasure this kind of body as opposed to his own, or any other with a penis. No matter, he wasn’t particularly concerned, and looked forward to learning.

 

Lee gently maneuvered Sai onto his back, laying him down on the couch and settling between his legs. Something about his weight pressed so entirely up against Sai stole his breath away, and everything felt much more real.

 

Sai wound his arms around Lee’s neck and Lee placed a palm on Sai’s thigh. They shared a minute of quiet eye contact… Sai absorbed in Lee’s deep, dark, long lashed, fathomless eyes, beneath the heaviness of his brows, above the rosiness of his cheeks… Sai found it all really beautiful. Lee was really beautiful.

 

They met together once more after the moment lapsed, and then Lee’s hand was beneath Sai’s shirt and Sai was lifting his hips to push up against Lee’s. Lee was making that sound he made into Sai’s mouth and Sai was fairly certain he was going crazy. He wanted Lee to make it again.

 

Sai smoothed his hands around to Lee’s back, pushing up the hem of his T-shirt to touch bare skin. Lee’s own palm skirted further beneath Sai’s shirt, up to his chest, and Sai decided wearing it was becoming pointless. Still kissing Lee, he managed to wrestle most of it off, until forced to break contact and pull it over his head.

 

Lee dropped his forehead to Sai’s, face tilted downward to stare at Sai’s exposed form. He ran his hands up and down, gentle, caressing, like Sai was something far more precious than he was. Sai held onto the back of his neck and continued to push at Lee’s shirt, urging him to shed it as well.

 

“Sai…” Lee said in that wonderfully hoarse voice, “You do not know what you do to me…”

 

Sai arched into Lee’s touch, swiping his tongue over his lower lip before taking it between his teeth. One of Lee’s hands held tightly onto his waist. “Why don’t you show me, then?”

 

Their kissing resumed. Sai managed to get Lee’s shirt off, and the way they stuck together was deliciously intoxicating. Sai planted a foot behind one of his knees - the one not hanging off the couch, and lifted his hips to lock together with Lee’s. Subconsciously, they began to roll together in fluid motion, until Lee was panting into Sai’s hair while Sai kissed random patterns into his throat. His hardness pressed sweetly into the warmth of Lee’s groin, and the constraining fabric of his pants were proving to be quite the annoyance. However, he did not want to interrupt the way Lee was making those breathy little noises, the way he was moving so wonderfully against him.

 

They kissed again, deep and quick and desperate, with wet tongue and hot breath, until Sai could feel pleasure knotting itself into plaits within his stomach, blooming under his skin in bursts of static. He dug his fingers into the thick muscle of Lee’s back, rubbing into the heat between his legs - it was all growing grossly wet in his pants, and he wanted to peel them back and really feel.

 

Until his thoughts were interrupted by Lee gasping and then groaning, the motion of his hips increasing in speed as he canted forward and leaned his weight onto one elbow above Sai’s head. Sai’s hands fell to Lee’s sides and he tilted his neck to accommodate the new angle. Then, Lee grabbed at Sai’s butt to force him closer, telling him directly into his mouth that it felt so good, and Sai was suddenly sure this was better than anything he’d felt before.

 

Lee shuddered and convulsed on top of him, finally broken away from his lips, and Sai stared up at him in breathless wonder. The way he was working himself against Sai’s erection was going to make him finish as well --

 

Sai came in his pants, which was rather disgusting and messy, but worth it. Lee leaned over him with his elbows on the arm of the couch, his hair hanging in his face, flushed and beaded with sweat. Sai touched his fingertips to his chest, artfully crafted in strong muscles, sharp scars cut beneath his pectorals. He lifted his gaze back to Lee’s lidded eyes, and the two of them took a deep breath simultaneously.

 

“This is too sticky.” Sai told him.

 

Lee laughed, his eyes squeezing closed and wrinkling up at the corners charmingly, turning to tuck his forehead against his bicep. He then stood up from the couch and allowed Sai to sit. From behind, Sai could see lightly pinkening lines marked down Lee’s back.

 

“I can fetch you some alternative clothes, if you would like.”

 

“Yes, please.” Sai shuffled his toes together over the floor.

 

* * *

 

It was not particularly special - their bout of heated dry humping. But Sai was nonetheless moved by the act. He felt connected to Lee, a bit, after sharing a moment more intimate than just kissing. He felt that he could be sure of his desire to continue things, he could be sure of his desire to be with Lee in ways beyond what they’d done before.

 

That night, Sai slept in Lee’s bed, gathered in his arms with his cheek pressed to the curve of his chest, wearing Lee’s clothes and ensconced in the warmth of heavy blankets.

 

Sai was a fan of personal space and being left to himself, so sleeping with someone was a change. Eventually, he had to roll from Lee to turn onto his side and sleep free of touch, but excluding that, he enjoyed having him there.

 

It was especially nice in the morning, waking up to Lee’s lips pressed to his forehead and the covers being pulled up securely to his chin. He watched tiredly as Lee went about getting dressed for his training - at four am, according to his alarm clock, before letting his heavy eyelids drift back shut. At some point before his departure, Lee returned to his side to kiss his cheeks, and then the tip of his nose, and the round point of his chin…

 

“What are you doing?” Sai grumbled in sleepy annoyance.

 

“My apologies. You just look so sweet here, I could not resist showering you with my affection.” Lee whispered, his hand smoothing through Sai’s hair.

 

Before he could pull back, Sai grabbed at Lee’s collar and hauled him back down to kiss him more surely on the mouth. Lee hummed lowly and kissed him back, before pulling away reluctantly and leaving Sai feeling warm and happy where he was snuggled into his bed.

  

* * *

 

Later that day, while out in town after picking up some things from the store, Sai ran into Sakura and Ino. According to Ino, the two of them were just ‘hanging out’ and ‘having a girl’s day’ together. They stopped to chat with Sai off to the side of the road, beneath the overhang of a nearby shop. Sakura caught Sai up on the work she had been doing at the hospital, as well as the few missions she had been dispatched on. Ino chimed in from time to time to add in her piece about her own work, or to make remarks about what Sakura was doing. Sai liked Ino well enough, especially now that she no longer acted so strange around him. He never really understood what that was about.

 

Ino asked Sai if he wanted to tag along with them to get lunch. Sakura nodded at her side enthusiastically, and Sai figured that he might as well.

 

They ate at a small cafe that Ino claimed to frequent, at a small table in the back beneath a window. Sai got himself tea and shared finger-sandwiches with Sakura and Ino.

 

A little while into their meal, Sakura asked about Lee. Sai had honestly expected her to have forgotten about all that, but wasn’t surprised that she remembered. She was very thoughtful.

 

“Things are well. I spent the night at his house yesterday.” Sai carefully plucked a sandwich from its platter.

 

She laughed a little, “Did you? How was that?”

 

“It was good. I’ve been wanting to get my hand down his pants for a while now.” Sai took a bite.

 

“Wait a second,” Ino held out her hands, “You’re gay? For Lee?”

 

“I think I was gay before Lee.” Sai remarked, offhandedly.

 

“It’s a figure of speech,” she gesticulated broadly, “You know what I mean - you’re dating Lee?”

 

“Maybe,” Sai responded, “Honestly, I don’t really know. I believe so.”

 

Ino folded her arms over her chest and sunk back into her chair, lips twisted into a small pout, “I thought you liked me. You called me beautiful, you know.”

 

“Oh, only because Sakura doesn’t like when I call her ugly. I thought it would be wise to address you as the opposite.” Sai corrected, raising his eyebrows, “I did not want to have poor social etiquette”

 

Ino’s frown deepened, “So you don’t actually think I’m pretty?”

 

“I’m going to stop this conversation now,” Sakura interrupted, forever the mediator. Perhaps that was good - Sai seemed to have a frequent habit of saying the wrong things around girls.

 

“So, you think you guys are dating?” Sakura continued, lifting her mug of tea to her face and blowing gently to cool it off.

 

“We are spending a lot of time together, and according to the books I’ve consulted we do seem to have a romantic connection.” Sai agreed.

 

“A romantic connection, huh?” Ino snickered. “You know, that is kinda cute. Lee is sweet.”

 

Sakura nodded at her side, “He’s a really great guy. I think he’ll be good for you.”

 

“And you’re good for him,” Ino added, “You know, to sort of mellow him out. He needs that.”

 

Sai nodded thoughtfully, resting his knuckles against his lips in contemplation. Yes - Lee did seem to benefit from his influence. He seemed happier and calmer when they were together; he seemed like he didn’t feel as if he had so much to prove. He was still himself, of course, in all his exuberant eccentricity, but just a… more comfortable and relaxed version. Sai was fond of this, very much so, and looked forward to seeing him even more.

 

* * *

 

Sai found that his relationship with Lee did not need a specific calling or label to grow. Just spending time with him, putting in that effort, making room for someone else in his life - it was all enough. It became second nature, being with him. Sai was not good at understanding people but he understood Lee, at least enough to be comfortable around him in a way he was not with others. He found himself wanting to be with him all the time, wanting to make him laugh and smile, wanting to make him happy, wanting to touch him, and be touched by him, not just sexually but simply - brushing shoulders, holding hands, embracing, the chaste sort of kisses that left his stomach in knots - it was all good. Sai was not one to crave physical affection, he had never needed something like that before, and had to read it from books to learn that most people did… but now, he wanted it all from Lee. He wanted everything Lee had to offer.

 

He was spending less and less time at his own apartment and more at Lee’s. In fact, his toothbrush had planted roots in Lee’s bathroom, as well as a reasonable chunk of his wardrobe. He had even stopped majority of his grocery shopping for himself, and mostly fed from Lee’s. It was commonplace to end up in Lee’s home after a day of work instead of his own.

 

He went to sleep most nights in someone else’s bed, held in someone else’s arms, after someone else’s lips kiss his forehead. It was all very strange to him. After growing up under the impression that individualism and independence were the only way, having someone there with him was disorienting. Yet good. Very, very good.

 

Sai was content.

 

No. More than content. He was happy. Lee made him happy.

 

Sai had no real definition of his feelings, only that they were pleasant, and at the very least he was happy. What he did not know was did he just like Lee, or did he love him? Was he even capable of love? What did love feel like? How was he supposed to be sure? According to any book he’d consulted, he would just know when it hit him, but he was terrible at just knowing. He needed to be explicitly told almost everything to really understand it.

 

But, of course, he didn’t necessarily need to understand it to enjoy it. He would be fine on the outskirts of understanding as long as Lee didn’t tire of him.

 

And, as far as Sai was concerned, that would not be happening in the near future. Lee did not seem even close to tiring of him, and was incredibly enthusiastic about… everything. The extra validation was quite soothing… Sai was positive that Lee’s feelings for him reflected his own. There was no other way, considering his unending affirmations and affections.

  

* * *

 

It all really came together the first time Sai was invited alongside Lee to have dinner at Gai’s home. Lee met with his sensei very much, and Sai himself had even begun seeing him more often. Mostly, he found the man strange. He was similar to Lee in many ways, yet Sai did not have the same connection with him to solidify his understanding of his uncommon ways. He was a strong presence in Lee’s life, one that Sai couldn’t really comprehend. He supposed Gai was something like Lee’s father.

 

They went to his house for curry that almost burned through Sai’s tongue, Lee and Gai chattering endlessly, going so fast Sai was incapable of keeping along. He ate in relative silence and simply enjoyed the chorus of their voices. They talked mostly about their training, going into minute detail while reviewing their schedules, ticking off each workout and exercise one by one. Then they talked about missions Lee had been on, what Gai was doing to keep busy around the house, the unimportant going-ons of the village.

 

Suddenly, both their faces was turned toward Sai and he had the feeling he was supposed to be doing something he wasn't. After swallowing down a rather painful spoonful of curry he asked, “What did you say?”

 

“Gai-sensei was curious as to what you have been up to lately, Sai!” Lee clarified.

 

“Oh,” Sai stirred his spoon around his bowl, “I don’t really do a lot of anything, I suppose.”

 

“That is untrue,” Lee turned back to his sensei, “Sai does a great variety of things! He trains with me, reads a great selection of books, and creates stunningly beautiful art! He also does various jobs around the village, and goes on missions as well.”

 

“A very valiant list of hobbies!” Gai praised, puffing out his chest a bit.

 

Sai thanked him a little reluctantly, and was suddenly engaged in their conversation, at least a bit. He hardly has as much to say as Gai and Lee, but he added in his own two-cents when he was asked. He could tell that this pleased Lee greatly, even when he slipped and said something uncouth. Gai did not seem as dense at Lee was when it came to catching onto Sai’s accidental rudeness, but smiled and beared it. He was not offended when Sai obtusely mentioned his disability, or the fact that he was no longer within the climax of his ‘springtime of youth.’ Gai kindly corrected him to say that youth was a state of mind, not being, and anyone could be in their own personal springtime. At this, Lee nodded tearfully and grasped Sai’s hand under the table.

 

They left late into the evening, after sunset, Lee looking particularly replenished. Sai supposed Gai had that way with him, flushing out any negativity from his mind and wiping the slate clean, making him just as pleasant and happy as he should be.

 

Lee babbled on about his love for his sensei the whole way home, detailing each endeavor he put Lee through in his youth, each exercise or inspirational speech, each learning moment, each exhibition of kindness. Lee told Sai about Gai helping him cut off all his hair when he was little, about him inviting him to his home so he no longer had to be alone, about him acting as his father in the absence of Lee’s own, about him being the motivation of all Lee’s determination.

 

At some point, Lee’s words grew thick with emotion and his fingers snaked around to thread together with Sai’s. He was very easily affected by things like this, and Sai found it kind of cute. Even if he instead told Lee he was being a crybaby.

  


They arrived at Lee’s apartment after the brief walk, and Lee went to do his nightly workout while Sai showered.

 

Afterwards, Sai emerged from the restroom with a towel around his waist, to find Lee doing one armed push-ups on his bedroom floor. Mindlessly, Sai shed his towel to rifle through Lee’s dresser and find something to sleep in.

 

Behind him, he heard a thud. Turning around, he was met with Lee struggling to right himself, his normally immaculate poise disturbed. Had he fallen? His eyes were wide and cheeks were stained a now familiar shade of red.

 

“What’s the matter with you?” Sai asked, standing with his head over his shoulder.

 

Lee shook his head furiously, “Y-you - you are--”

 

Sai thoughtlessly glanced down at himself, before shifting his gaze back to Lee. “Oh. Naked?”

 

“I--yes. I’m sorry. I will now leave so you may have some privacy.” Lee began to stand up, keeping his eyes averted, trained on the ground.

 

“Lee,” Sai interrupted, “You can stay.”

 

Lee simply blinked up at him.

 

“I don’t care if you see me,” Suddenly, Sai’s objective was no longer getting dressed. “Come here.”

 

Lee scrambled to right himself, rising to his full height. He took a few strides and came to stand at Sai’s side, hesitantly lifting his hands as if he wasn’t quite sure what to do with them, before settling them on Sai’s naked waist. His palms were damp with sweat, calloused fingertips pressed into Sai’s back. His chest lined up flush with Sai’s, and Sai could feel his warmth seeping into his bare skin. Lifting his own hands to skirt his fingers up Lee’s arms, Sai held lightly onto his biceps, and craned his head up slightly to meet Lee’s eyes. Lee’s hand smoothed up his spine, caressing the jut of his shoulder blade, before tracing along the line of his neck. He was blushing furiously.

 

“Do you want to have sex with me?” Sai asked, unceremoniously.

 

The red of Lee’s cheeks deepened considerably, up to the tips of his ears. “N-Now?”

 

“When else?” Sai asked, puzzled. “I want to, and I know that you do too. I see the way you look at me.”

 

“Are you - is that something you are prepared for? That you really, truly desire? Deep within your soul?”

 

Sai took Lee’s hand from his neck and lead it between his legs. “You talk too much.”

 

The flame in Lee’s cheeks brightened even further. Pursing his lips, he tightened his grip and took a hesitant step forward, pressing his shin between Sai’s legs to gently lead him to step backwards. The mattress aligned with the backs of Sai’s knees, and Sai toppled over onto the bed. Lee climbed on top of him, his hair framing his face in strokes of inky black, and Sai reached out to touch his face. The skin burned warmly beneath his palm.

 

Lee leaned in to kiss his forehead, the top of his nose, apples of his cheeks, line of his jaw, column of his throat, his chest, stomach. Sai propped himself up on his elbows, watching Lee’s black head move along his abdomen. His pulse quickened in sudden anticipation, throat thickening. He wasn’t nervous - this was Lee, he never had to be nervous about Lee - but he was something.

 

Lee settled between his legs, and glanced upwards. His face was set in a sort of serious determination Sai recognized from sparring with him. It was softer, though, and Sai knew they were not about to fight.

 

Lee’s mouth touched softly against the insides of Sai’s thighs, and Sai exhaled lightly. A quick kiss was nothing to get worked up over, but the location caused Sai’s pulse to quicken. Blood was rushing to his groin, excitement budding beneath his skin. He wanted this; he wanted Lee. In every way possible.

 

A little while ago, Sai had planted a few items necessary for sex in a bedside table drawer, in the event that something like this were to happen. He leaned over to retrieve them while Lee trailed his lips further up the length of Sai’s legs, settling in a particularly tender dip of flesh.

 

“Sai,” He said, the word falling from his lips in a rush of breath. “What do you desire?”

 

It seemed silly. Why would Lee ask such a thing at a time like this? It seemed obvious. In fact, Sai had already explicitly stated that he wanted to have sex. Yet, Lee still asked for further clarification. Perhaps he wished to know what roles each of them would pay respectively? Truthfully, Sai wouldn’t mind either… it all depended on what Lee wanted.

 

“I want you.” Sai told him. “You can have me in any way you like, I suppose. What do you desire?”

 

Lee blinked up at him for a few silent moments. His cheeks had yet to lose their color, and Sai found the flush quite becoming of him. Suddenly, Lee was climbing back up to his previous position, face a hair’s width from Sai’s own. He looked down with fathomless wonder, and Sai lifted a hand to sit on his waist.

 

“You can go inside me.” Sai told him, because in that moment, he knew that was what he wanted. That sort of intimacy.  

 

Lee’s eyes darted away and quickly returned. “Sai… you know I am not like you, I-”

 

“Then I can do you.”

 

“No.” Lee immediately responded.

 

Sai blinked.

 

“No, thank you.” Lee went on. “While your offer is most considerate, I feel it would bring me unwanted discomfort. If you don’t mind, I would prefer your first suggestion.” He took his own lower lip between his teeth. “I have something to use, in the place of a penis.”

 

“A dildo?” Sai filled in, bluntly. He knew of such a thing, especially after his extensive research.

 

Lee nodded.

 

“Then get it.” Sai lightly pushed at Lee’s shoulder, before realizing he was still clothed, and pulled him back in to go for the the zipper of his jumpsuit. He worked the thing down Lee’s back, and pulled it from his arms. Lee let him do so, and watched Sai’s face as Sai traced a palm up the center of Lee’s strong chest.

 

Lee stepped away to get his things.

 

Sai rolled over to watch him.

 

After stripping himself from the rest of his clothing, Lee stepped back to the bed naked save for the fake penis bobbing between his legs, held up with dark straps. It was decently realistic, Sai decided with artistic reflection. And it certainly would do its job.

 

Sai would be lying if he were to say he wasn’t a bit nervous. He trusted Lee not to hurt him, of course, but this seemed somehow monumental. Nothing Sai had done in the past was quite like it. He was glad Lee would be the one to show him the way.

 

Gently, Lee rolled him over onto his stomach, and took the bottle from his fingertips. “Let me,” he said in a low voice, accompanied by the sound of the cap being opened. Sai let his cheek rest on the pillow, watching the wall and feeling Lee move behind him. A hand came to rest over his butt, and Lee once again whispered into his ear, “Spread your legs a bit, if you will.”

 

Sai would.

 

Cold fingers drew between the split of his buttocks, sending a small shock up his spine. His eyes closed as Lee pressed softly at his entrance, a barely-there yet entirely noticeable pressure. Nothing notable was happening quite yet, but Sai could feel his arousal overflowing. The anticipation was growing steeper and steeper.

 

Lee’s other hand smoothed up his thigh, absentmindedly stroking the skin, while he touched him a little more assuredly. Sai’s heart raced. He wanted this.

 

Then, there was a breach, and Lee’s finger was slowly curling inside him. The sensation was not painful, but foreign, and Sai immediately recounted his training to will away any feelings of discomfort. Lee moved at a steady pace, taking his time to acquaint Sai  with the circumstance. He was uncharacteristically silent, save for some heavy breathing, as he worked. Sai was getting used to it, welcoming Lee more readily, and soon enough another finger was within him.

 

“How do you fare?” Lee asked.

 

“Alright.”

 

“Just alright? Not good?”

 

Of course Lee would say such a thing. Sai did his best to look up at him, twisting slightly to do so. “It’s good, Lee. A little strange, but not bad. I’ve been trained to endure far more uncomfortable situations than this.”

 

Lee’s eyes bulged a bit, and he shook his head quickly. “You mustn’t block the sensation! For if you block the discomfort, you block the pleasure, as well.”

 

Sai considered that.

 

“Trust me. I will not hurt you.”

 

Sai knew that, but it was nice to be reminded. With a nod, he laid his head back down and closed his eyes once more, allowing the feelings to course through him, undisturbed.

 

“It sort of feels as if I have to go to the bathroom.” He confessed.

 

Lee’s laugh was light and airy behind him. He crooked his fingers and something bright and warm sparked deep in Sai’s gut. He jolted. “How about that?” Lee inquired.

 

“It’ll do,” Sai exhaled.

 

Lee continued to patiently work him open, fingers finding a pleasant rhythm, slow and steady, exploring the depths of him with expert precision. Sai thought a moment about how Lee had became an expert - by being with someone else. Sai explored the possibility of being jealous, but found that he wasn’t. It simply wasn’t in his nature. Lee had possessed something special and important with another man, but that did not make what he shared with Sai any less precious. Lee had loved Neji before, and he… he cared for Sai now. That suited Sai fine.

 

Soon enough, the fingers ceased and withdrew. They were replaced by something blunt, and one of Lee’s hands was easing Sai’s legs further apart. Sai spared a glance over his shoulder, and reached out to touch Lee’s side. Lee met his eyes, and inch by inch, pressed inside.

 

Sai had never been particularly good with words. He knew how to be articulate and well spoken, but oftentimes struggled with finding words to describe his feelings. Now was no different. As Lee pushed into him and filled him with warmth, Sai felt overwhelmed with emotion and sensation. He did not know how to describe such a thing - the intensity of it all. He wanted to drink it all in and save it for later, for a time in which he was in a better state of mind and could possibly understand what was going through his mind.

 

Lee’s hand was on his shoulder. The other on his hip. He was still, but thrumming with life where Sai touched him.

 

Sai took a breath, and released it.

 

“Move,” he instructed.

 

Lee did.

 

It started slow, crawling along at the same pace his fingers had, a dull rocking inside. There were no shocks of pleasure, but the persistent movement was proving to be somewhat enjoyable. Mostly, it provided Sai time to get used to it all. His arousal was driven by Lee’s sighing and panting, his quiet, throaty noises of approval. Sai wasn’t sure of the mechanics of it all, but was glad Lee felt good. That was always been what he wanted.

 

His hand fell limply to the bed, no longer touching Lee, and for whatever reason, this drove Lee to begin to go a bit faster. The jut of his hips pressed flush to Sai’s ass on each downstroke, working at a moderate speed, and Sai felt a stirring.

 

Lee’s mouth was suddenly hovering over the back of his neck, breath hot. “Do you feel alright?”

 

Sai hummed lowly in response, before giving a less vague answer of, “Yes.”

 

Lee pushed a strand of hair from Sai’s face behind his ear, and kissed the soft place beneath it. He pressed deeply inside, and rolled his hips in a way that made something within Sai squeeze.

 

“Good,” Lee’s broad palm sat on the small of Sai’s back. “I want you to feel good, Sai.”

 

What it was about Lee’s voice or what he said that made such heat rush through Sai was unknown. Perhaps being addressed by his name in a situation like this… it was unfamiliarly intimate. Sai found that he quite enjoyed it.

 

Lee kept at it consistently. Sai knew that he was not approaching orgasm, but he was thoroughly enjoying himself nonetheless. Soon enough, he found himself lifting himself to meet Lee halfway, pushing back against him. The new angle of his tilted hips accompanied by the hot slide of Lee inside him made him gasp. Alright. He seemed to be getting a hang of this. He reached to touch Lee’s leg again, eyes pinched shut, breathing steadily.

 

Lee’s fingers found the crook where his leg ended, and he pulled Sai up slightly, leading Sai to put more weight on his knees and arch his back. This too proved to be pleasurable, and Sai gripped Lee’s thigh a little more tightly. He knew then that he wanted this leisurely pace to stop. He wanted more.

 

“Lee,” he began, surprised to find his voice had dipped into something deeper. “Go faster.”

 

Lee, always one to please, did as he was told.

 

Sai turned his face into the pillow as Lee’s thrusts became something more substantial, a snapping sort of pressure, withdrawing slightly to push right back in. Lee did something that caught Sai at that remarkable spot, and a spark rocked through him. He felt as if static electricity was buzzing beneath his skin, washing over the slight discomfort of being penetrated. It felt good, just like Lee wanted it too. It felt… more than good. Sai once again was overwhelmed by pleasure and uncertainty.

 

Lee was babbling on behind him, repeating Sai’s name and gasping out praise, his grip growing more strong with each movement. Sai wasn’t really sure  what he was saying, exactly, but it was a nice thing to hear.

 

His forehead had dampened with sweat, hair tickling his face, breath falling into an uneven pattern and heart racing. With the hand not touching Lee’s leg, he reached down to wrap his fingers around himself, stroking his fist up and down rhythmically. The added pleasure coiled solidly in his groin, and he found himself letting out a soft groan. Yes. This was shaping up quite nicely.

 

Sai was happy to let himself be taken away by the feeling - touching himself while Lee moved inside him, quicker but still steady and reliable. A telltale tension was beginning to brick together in his belly, and Sai willed it on. He shifted to look back over his shoulder at Lee, to find him with his head bowed, shiny black hair obscuring his face, chest glistening with a light sheen of sweat, muscles in his abdomen clenched. Another noise rumbled from Sai’s chest, and Lee lifted his gaze.

 

He smiled and reached for Sai’s hand. Sai gave it to him.

 

Sai watched Lee move as he drew closer, that tight heat in his stomach growing increasingly massive. The initial apprehension and slight discomfort was long forgotten, easily cast aside in the place of this new all-encompassing pleasure. When Lee knocked aside Sai’s hand and wrapped his own palm over his dick, it was enough, and Sai shook with sudden release. A shiver tickled up the digits of his spine as he let it take over him, sucking in breath and pinching his eyebrows together, his lips falling open. Sweat stung his eyes. It seemed as if noise was swimming in the background of his consciousness, and it sounded far away as he moaned raggedly into the rumpled sheets.

 

Lee was still seated inside of him, his presence grounding. Sai tightened his hold on his hand, and opened his eyes. Lee’s chest heaved and he was wiping at his forehead with the back of his hand.

 

Pitching forward enough for Lee to fall out from inside him, Sai turned onto his back and watched him, pulling him forward by their entwined fingers. Lee crawled closer on his knees and looked down at Sai with wet eyes.

 

“Are you crying?”

 

“It is normal for a man to be overcome with emotion after sharing an intimate moment with his lover!” Lee defended, blinking rapidly. He fell forward to lay at Sai’s side, turning to rest his face against the crook of his neck. Their hands were smashed between them. He then rolled completely on top of Sai.

 

“You’re heavy.” Sai pushed at him, but he didn’t budge. “Either lose some weight or get off of me.”

 

“Sai!” Lee lifted his head and looked at him, eyes glistening. “This is a precious moment of youth! There is no need to act so cool and unaffected!”

 

Sai considered him wordlessly. And then lifted a hand to frame Lee’s face. “I’m not unaffected. I’m happy.” He told him, genuinely. “But you’re still heavy.”

 

Fat tears rolled down Lee’s cheeks, face pinching together, eyebrows furrowing and nose wrinkling. With a loud sob, he fitted his face back into Sai’s shoulder.

 

Sai lifted a hand to his back, and rubbed it slowly. He had read once this was a good method of comfort. “Oh, Sai!” Lee was crying. “I am at a loss for words! You, too, make me incredibly happy!”

 

Sai said nothing in response, but allowed himself a small smile.

 

And then, he came to a conclusion.

 

This was how he was supposed to feel. This was how people were supposed to make him feel. He had never been so sure of something, especially when it came to anything involving his emotions. Before, he did not know how he was supposed to feel or react to things outside of what he had read or been told by others. But with Lee, he could do what was right for himself and Lee would let him. Lee would smile at him or kiss him or hug him, he would agree or nod along or refute with his own opinion.

 

This was right. This was were Sai was supposed to be.

  



End file.
